I am so angry so pumped so ready!??? ag i dont know what i am but i know god is bringing it together. I love you god so much you are truely all powerful. UG where to start tonight. Last night i tried to blog and couldnt last night was basically a night of despair, so many questions and no answers i wrote bits and peices and then deleted them finaly i closed the laptop and decided to head to bed. Instead i fell on my face before god(in the bathroom so my roomate wouldnt see) i didnt have any great revalation i didnt say all that much i just cried out in desparation. but nothing happend and eventually i drifted off to sleep in the middle of the whirlwind of things in my mind. the title of tonight is how i signed off to an email to brandi and it wasnt because i wanted some cool catch phrase it was becuase god is moving, god has uprooted my heart and has forced me to seek him, i feel as though my mind is not my own, i feel like i have been over taken, i see kids in my youth group and they break my heart, even kids i havent heard their stories i dunno if they see it or not but just spending time with them is destroying me and breaking my heart. we had one of those everyone is called to be a missionary chapels today and instead of scoffing as i have before my heart was torn, wait chapel was yesterday... anyways it tore me up inside. i cant explain this passion he has put in my heart, and then i read a blog by brandi that shows me how much of a burden god has put on her heart, then yesterday i wrote rob an extremely long and somehow much deeper than we have ever talked. and then he responds and i can here the desire in his words. i say revolution because to me revolution discribes something much larger than ones self, its bigger than anyone can imagine, and i say let it begin because it already has, why would three best friends hearts be burdened by the same cause if they were not on the verge of something bigger than they could ever imagine, if truth be told weve always had the burden it was just lighter because we pushed it off, it wasnt the sensible thing, the sensible thing was to save money and go to college, the sensible thing was to get good grades and go to church. but god doesnt always call us to the sensible things. i feel it i know it and i know some of you do to. i dont know what it is but it is begining and it involves all of us. i want to know if your in.
Let the revolution begin.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
When will we become everything he desires us to be?
Hey Guys
Sorry I haven't been keeping in touch as much as i would like to be. But I haven't had a way to get online for the last couple weeks. Excuses aside hopefully this blog will be a way for me to communicate with you guys. Hopefully you can see whats on my heart and nipping at my heals, and you will feel free to share the same with me. I don't know what everyone truly thinks about what happened this summer. But I am so glad I met some of you and even more glad about how close we all grew as well. But I also feel like I might not have done the best job, or done as much as I could have this summer. I feel like I fell short. I'm not saying this as a guilt trip or so you will feel sorry for you. but I want you to know because i want to be truthful with you. Some of you have been so open to me and i would like to try to be more open with you all. So please don't send me anything saying I think you did a great job because that's not what this is about. Its about the fact that in everything I do here and especially everything I learn I thank God for. I thank God so much for the opportunity not only to sit along side you but for the chance to prod and poke you a little. Everything I am doing here reminds me of you, as a whole or individuals. People I meet, sermons I here, books I read. Its so much different than just college. And I am so thankful and so ready. And honestly i blame it all on you guys.
I want to mention my challenge to you for a few reasons. One is because it was a challenge to myself. And through it I have seen some amazing changes in my life. I can only hope that this is true in your lives as well. I have developed not only an interest for ministry, which is what i started this summer out with. But it has become an overwhelming burden. I guess its what people mean when they say a passion, desire, or even a call. I like the way kids in the way put it in the song "this might be the song that changes your life" (which is what we listened to my last day at Common Ground Ministries) when they say, "There's a burning in my heart", or later in the song "There's a Beating in my Chest". Before I go on to the other reason(which is you guys), i want to remind you exactly of my challenge.
The lyrics to the song go on, "I come to you, I look to you, and say, when will I become Everything, that you desire me to be?" My challenge to you was not specific, it depended on where you were. Maybe you just need to cry out to God, Maybe you need to just listen. Maybe you need to decide when it is your going to get serious, when it is that you will dig beneath the surface of what the world today sees as being a christian, what all the rules are what lifestyle looks like, and begin to discover his specific plan for you. You were created in his image, he knows the number of hairs on your head and he intentionally created you for some purpose. Its not like God created a bunch of people and then handed out a bunch of job descriptions he expected you to complete. He designed you, he knew all the circumstances that led up to your birth(think you were a mistake, an accident? Think again!), he gave you every little feature, every design that would make you perfectly fit in his plan, he gave you all the tools to complete your mission, and he has been setting you up for it all your life, think people or circumstances around you or in your past are random, no way, they are all right there waiting for you. all you have to do is slow down, speed up, turn around, get dumped, get fired, break a leg, what ever it takes for you to realize he is pursuing you and you and only you are good enough. Maybe the time for you to become what God intended you to be is right now. Or maybe you will brush me off, brush off everything and just coast a little longer. Whatever you choose, whatever the result is, know that God works all things together for the good, which is not a good excuse to brush him off, but instead is a promise to you that even if you decide to not decide, (which by the way is the same as saying no, just no one ever wants to admit to directly telling god no) he will still be pursuing you, still be causing events and people in your life to push you closer to him. In closing for tonight I urge you to find the burning in your heart and ask God why its there and what he wants you to do about it. You don't have to do anything, you don't even have to say it out loud, just ask him in your mind, in essence just think about it.
Sorry I haven't been keeping in touch as much as i would like to be. But I haven't had a way to get online for the last couple weeks. Excuses aside hopefully this blog will be a way for me to communicate with you guys. Hopefully you can see whats on my heart and nipping at my heals, and you will feel free to share the same with me. I don't know what everyone truly thinks about what happened this summer. But I am so glad I met some of you and even more glad about how close we all grew as well. But I also feel like I might not have done the best job, or done as much as I could have this summer. I feel like I fell short. I'm not saying this as a guilt trip or so you will feel sorry for you. but I want you to know because i want to be truthful with you. Some of you have been so open to me and i would like to try to be more open with you all. So please don't send me anything saying I think you did a great job because that's not what this is about. Its about the fact that in everything I do here and especially everything I learn I thank God for. I thank God so much for the opportunity not only to sit along side you but for the chance to prod and poke you a little. Everything I am doing here reminds me of you, as a whole or individuals. People I meet, sermons I here, books I read. Its so much different than just college. And I am so thankful and so ready. And honestly i blame it all on you guys.
I want to mention my challenge to you for a few reasons. One is because it was a challenge to myself. And through it I have seen some amazing changes in my life. I can only hope that this is true in your lives as well. I have developed not only an interest for ministry, which is what i started this summer out with. But it has become an overwhelming burden. I guess its what people mean when they say a passion, desire, or even a call. I like the way kids in the way put it in the song "this might be the song that changes your life" (which is what we listened to my last day at Common Ground Ministries) when they say, "There's a burning in my heart", or later in the song "There's a Beating in my Chest". Before I go on to the other reason(which is you guys), i want to remind you exactly of my challenge.
The lyrics to the song go on, "I come to you, I look to you, and say, when will I become Everything, that you desire me to be?" My challenge to you was not specific, it depended on where you were. Maybe you just need to cry out to God, Maybe you need to just listen. Maybe you need to decide when it is your going to get serious, when it is that you will dig beneath the surface of what the world today sees as being a christian, what all the rules are what lifestyle looks like, and begin to discover his specific plan for you. You were created in his image, he knows the number of hairs on your head and he intentionally created you for some purpose. Its not like God created a bunch of people and then handed out a bunch of job descriptions he expected you to complete. He designed you, he knew all the circumstances that led up to your birth(think you were a mistake, an accident? Think again!), he gave you every little feature, every design that would make you perfectly fit in his plan, he gave you all the tools to complete your mission, and he has been setting you up for it all your life, think people or circumstances around you or in your past are random, no way, they are all right there waiting for you. all you have to do is slow down, speed up, turn around, get dumped, get fired, break a leg, what ever it takes for you to realize he is pursuing you and you and only you are good enough. Maybe the time for you to become what God intended you to be is right now. Or maybe you will brush me off, brush off everything and just coast a little longer. Whatever you choose, whatever the result is, know that God works all things together for the good, which is not a good excuse to brush him off, but instead is a promise to you that even if you decide to not decide, (which by the way is the same as saying no, just no one ever wants to admit to directly telling god no) he will still be pursuing you, still be causing events and people in your life to push you closer to him. In closing for tonight I urge you to find the burning in your heart and ask God why its there and what he wants you to do about it. You don't have to do anything, you don't even have to say it out loud, just ask him in your mind, in essence just think about it.
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