Dont you just hate that feeling?

Ugg, sometimes you feel, or at least i do, that horrible gut wrenching feeling where if the right person said the wrong thing you would more than explode. Explode can happen from any pent up emotion, this is so much more. I wrote about it but it would reveal to much of the circumstance to allow me to post it though i wish i could share it with someone. I am failing at trying to explain how pure rage can feel but it happened to me this weekend.

All tole the week off from school was amazing, i got to see a good friend in Ohio, and see my sister which i have not seen in far too long, as well as my nephews which are so cool. I had a lot of fun with friends caught up with family and enjoyed thanksgiving as well as got some work done. And I'm not going to say this over shadowed this whole awesome week because it didn't but it was horrible its one of those things where you feel so helpless and beg and cry out for answers to your stupid childish why answers and get nothing in response. Its painful though it has to be more painful for the person that this happened to and i hate it.

But I have decided to trust god as i know we should, and have decided to help in anyway i can, not by any means trying to fix it with my own strength because that is impossible but trusting god and seeking god to work in this event. the verse Romans 8:28 of course has to come to mind and i believe it god does have a plan god loves us and something good will come of it. But then this morning i read in psalms 30 of the message version these beautiful words, "God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life when I was down-and-out. You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough." , and i know for sure god is in control.

Peace

What is peace?

Often we hear about world peace, it can even be the butt of a lot of jokes because it has pretty much been decided that its unattainable. But what is it? I read a chapter or two(or more if I'm on a role) of psalms everyday for the last month or so and today was chapter 29, and in the message version it ends with "God makes his people strong, God gives his people Peace." What comes to mind when we read something like this? Do we think the end of a war, the lack of hardship, do we envision rest and relaxation? God gives us peace... wait what about James 1 verse 2 "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

Is something askew here? Not by my definition of peace. See instead of seeing peace as a time to relax and even become slothful, i think peace is a state of mind. I don't think it can be used to describe a society or even the whole world. I think that people use it to describe a said "peaceful" country because they attribute the characteristics of that country to some sort of utopia where every one is happy (everyone is peaceful). But i don't see it that way. Peace, to me, the peace i think that David is talking about in his psalm, is a knowledge that God is in control, a sense that there is a plan. A faith that what is happening has a purpose, and will accomplish some greater good in the end.

This world and our lives are far from the common definition of peaceful, but because God makes us strong, and gives us peace it is through him that we can consider it a pure gift when life gets rough, when direction seems blurry, or all else fails. We had a speaker in chapel today, and though his message was littered with comedy and seemingly desperate tries to make us laugh, he had a good message. He related faith to a vehicle that had broken down and had just been repaired and the mechanic tried to explain all that had been fixed and he just simply asked "does it work?" this is the question he asked of faith "does it work?" Does our faith work? Are we consumed with "peace" that a nation like ours gives us, are we consumed with our mere existence? Or do we have faith that God will give us the strength and Peace to do his will, even in hardship, even out side our little boxes? Do we seek a peace of the physical and the environment we live in, or do we seek a peace in our heart?

God let me have a peace in my heart that i am still seeking you! Let me have a peace that i am still burning bright! No matter the circumstances around me, let me find peace that i am in your will and striving to do your work. And most of all God give me a peace that you love me no matter how much i mess up.

LA Term

Hey I cant believe I didnt say this earlier, but im going!!!


Dear Spring 2008 LA Term students,

Thank you so much for your interest in LA Term. I am happy to welcome you to the program for the Spring 08 semester. The first day of Orientation is Jan. 8, but we will of course be in touch before that time. In fact, I hope to send you in the first week of December your Information Packets, Handbook, and Homestay Assignments. I recognize this last piece (homestays) often evokes the most anticipation and excitement. I will do my best to get that information to you as soon as it is available (hopefully by the first week in December). During Christmas Break you will contact your family in order to schedule your specific move-in date and time during the weekend before Jan. 8. You will also have a reading assignment over the break that will be sent to you in your information packet. I am excited for all that awaits us next spring, and please feel free to contact me if I can be of any assistance to you.

Remember, Remember the 5th of November.

This weekend was hard on me for some reason... I wrote about it a little in my class blog but I'm assuming none of you read that all though if you do its fine. I just got to feeling a little overwhelmed and bored (or rather sick) of college, its about that time when the semester seems to drag on forever, i miss everyone from home but they seem to become distant, and i just would rather be anywhere but here.

But i spent a good part of last night and this morning seeking for the fire and passion that i felt so strongly at the beginning of the semester to be renewed. I think it has, not in any sort of amazing way but i just feel a little more at ease and realize that this is almost over and I'll make it.

So this morning in chapel during worship i was reminded of the V for Vendetta and that today was in fact the Fifth of November. I started wishing i had some big reason to remember it, or some opportunity to speak and intertwine the saying with a challenge. But no such opportunity presented itself and I'm sure i would hardly have been prepared if it did. I did however take notice that instead of wondering and questioning like i had been all weekend, i had just "wished" or "fantasised" about ministry... i know this is weird.

But then the speaker in chapel was Dinesh D'Souza and i was blown away. He is the author a quite a few books and has been involved in many debates with atheists as of late. His latest book "whats so great about Christianity" offers Christians knowledge of how to defend their faith out side "christian lingo" many people when faced with questions about their faith simply quote the bible and cant comprehend that if the person asking the questions doesn't believe the bible it therefore has no authority and to justify your answers based on the item in question is just plain circular reasoning and a fallacy. Which is something i have thought for years and tried to convey to a few people.

His idea in the book is not to attack the weak points in atheism but to attack the strong points. He made some amazing points and i really wanted to read the book where he obviously can go into more depth than just the brief overview in a 45 minute chapel setting. But it was 25 bucks and I'm poor, however i found it on eBay for 16 and bought it with my credit card! lol. But although all his points were good i don't feel the need to type them all instead i will write about the one that struck me the hardest.

The question he was addressing goes something like this, "as an atheist i can do everything a christian can do without being a christian" "a christian can give food to the poor or help in hurricane relief, but so can a non christian, so where is god in that? how is it different for a christian?" His answer (and I'm sure I'm not giving it justice, i just want to show you the point that hit me, I'm sure reading his book will give more clarity to the argument) was that though you don't need to be a christian to do these things, they are still christian "practices" and it just goes to show that Christianity has permeated even into the non christian. I'm so not giving it justice. He went on to talk about how in the ancient "godless" nations there were terrible things that occurred, but that as much as our society might be "non-christian" or even an "atheist" culture we still have "christian" values that have found their way into the lives of many people that don't claim to be Christians.

Ok in an effort to make my thots clearer to you, think about it like this, although we can get caught up on hypocritical ism in the church and the so called Christians, think about how much good there is in our society. Ok ok god forbid i try to make it sound better than it is, but what I'm trying to say is that even though these people might not be in right standing with god, or even denounce him, or simply choose not to follow him, even they are compelled to do good. I know our country is far from perfect and crimes are still committed but think about the majority of people, your teachers at school, the people you work with, family members, I'd say on a whole their all pretty good people. although some would willingly do some thing immoral like get drunk or sleep around, how many of them would murder, or rob someone. If we were in a godless society i would argue that there would be no boundaries, if these people truly thot there was no god why would premarital sex be any different than rape, and if you answer morals, or an inner knowing that a human is born with. I think you are mistaken. I think his point and my point now is this, our culture supports the idea of a god, if you do charitable deeds like feed the poor or help in hurricane relief you are doing so because of morals instilled in you from a (on the whole) moral society that supports the idea of a god. To say that you were born with the notion to help others, and that god has nothing to do with it is hardly credible.

I think it is amazing to see that although our nation might not be christian or even close to right with god, even in those who wish to destroy our faith and refuse to believe god is at work still, over all these years, through all our hard work, through all the lifestyles that have been lived, through every lesson taught from generation to generation, good has been instilled, seeds have been planted, and god is alive and working.

Maybe something like this is worth remembering the Fifth of November. That is if in remembering a date, we can remember a God that is at work even in a society that tries hard to stray from him, but still finds itself stuck and unable to run so far from that God to be able to intelligibly say he does not exist.

Are the old people right is our music too loud?

Ah yes the magical 21st birthday spent as just any other day... A while back if i had stayed on that same track i can see how much different tonight might have been. But instead it was another normal day filled with class, dinner, and starring at a computer screen bored out of my mind.

But also today was the colloquium... fancy word that means something about scholarship, debates, old people, and ... more big words. This colloquium is held every year apparently and is required of all the religion majors to attend. My first response was why is it that the religion department has to be so ... "religious", which i still hold to in the sense that they had it in the first place. But though i did not agree with being forced to sit through it I will say it was good and probably could be educational for some one. The topic this year was the trinity. Sounds big, and is, but the ideas addressed were not new to me and did not push me to anymore of an understanding. What i did get out of it was just a few points he made that to him might not have been all that important but got ideas rolling enough in my head that i started typing this.

First was that he stressed that one of the main points of the trinity is that it is a model to us of how to live in unity. hmmm... that sounds familiar where have i heard that before.... ah yes maybe it was from Dave Ziggler? isn't his idea for his church, trinity church, all about community. i dont know that thats exactly what he was thinking but it made sense to me.

Another interesting comment the speaker made was when he was responding to a question posed by a student that went something like this "since we are on a path of someday being pastors what is some advice for ways we can teach our congregations about the trinity?" his response made sense, he says that the best way is through literagy and prayer, things like hymns and creeds. Hmmm... makes you feel bad for saying the hymns are out dated or boring... he then mentioned "modern" worship and said that we need to incorporate doctrine and things like the trinity into worship songs and the like and "theres not alot of that out there"

wow i dont know about you but when he said that i had an "ah ha" moment as my favorite proffesor schenck would say. All the debates and differences between "old people" and youth in church all the "hymns are boring" and "your music is tooo loud" simply comes down to miscommunication.

Maybe the old folks are right. Maybe we have replaced, or done our best to replace, good solid beliefs about god put in song form, with songs that feel good. Granted their are exceptions im not trying to start any arguments. but although our songs are good are they... great? Can we fall into the lul of "jesus, jesus, jesus" and begin to forget what it all really means? Can we praise god, and sing we worship you, and we love you and be dumbing down truth. Although im definatly not picking on newer music i love it i just think we need to be a little more careful with songs and make sure there is some substance in them, and also taking time to notice the parts that contain the "good stuff" and not just the whoa oo oo o a 's and na na na na 's i think theres a few songs out there now that get it but heres an "oldie" that i love and an example of good christian belief in song. Night all and god bless.


It Is Well With My Soul - Horatio Spafford

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot,
Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet,
though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross,
and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day
when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound,
and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.